How a black hole eats oranges
I was going to reply to a question from a follower today, but my youngest brother, Ethan, had other plans.
Namely doing everything humanly possible to interrupt the lunch break I’d set aside for smashing out an email.
Interrupted is a gentle term - he absorbed my time like a BLACK HOLE with no regard for what he was destroying, and no purpose for destroying it either.
Incredible lunchtime contributions from Ethan included:
“Look Thomas, look. I’ve revolutionised how to eat an orange!”
[Ethan: holding an orange with the top + bottom removed and the remainder rolled out into one long rectangle of orange chunks]
I politely asked for some quiet time.
“You just don’t love me anymore.”
How right he was.
Unfortunately he didn’t get any less annoying, and my page didn’t get any less blank, so I’ve decided to tackle something more relevant in today’s email:
How do you deal with someone who’s getting in the way of moving towards a goal, OR someone who’s pouring petrol on your bad habits?
Could be an annoying younger brother on your lunch break, could be a spouse chucking the TV on every time you want an early night (this is MY BAD HABIT, not my wife’s), could be a mate passing round ilLiciT suBStAnCes when you’re tryna make something out of your life.
More than almost anything else, people **who aren’t 100% aligned with the steps you’re taking seriously derail you. So here’s a three step strategy to execute next time someone chucks a handbrake on progress:
Educate - If you haven’t vocalised what you’re trying to achieve and how you’re trying to achieve it, you’re dreaming. I’ll bet your roadblock-person can’t read minds, so you need to explain what you’re trying to achieve, why it’s important to you, and how what they do affects you. Hopefully they’ll take it in stride and adjust accordingly.
Demonstrate - Maybe just saying ‘I wanna lose weight’ doesn’t **immediately equal ‘I should stop buying junk food because it’s a temptation’ in your SO’s head. So you need to demonstrate, on top of education - “I want to lose weight. When you bring home 2 tubs of ice cream and a block of chocolate, your actions make my goal a lot harder.”
Isolate - First time someone gets in your way, it’s because they don’t know about your path, so you educate them. Second time they get in your way, it’s because they don’t realise how their actions affect you, so you demonstrate for them. THIRD TIME SOMEONE GETS IN YOUR WAY THEY HAVE ALZHEIMERS OR JUST DON’T FREAKIN CARE. So distance yourself from that person. They are not willing to help you, or they belong in an aged care facility.
It’s three chances for someone else to change their behaviour to let you know they’re here for you, they’re on board with your plans for progression, and they certainly won’t stand in your way.
Can’t get it right after three chances? They’re gonna do you more harm than good. Or they’re your younger brother.
This strategy works wonders on yourself as well, but in a kinda hippy way.
You can often be your worst enemy, even after deciding you’d like to move forwards, so educate yourself - get crystal clear on your goal, what it’ll benefit you, how to achieve it.
Document clearly how certain things you do get in the way of the goal you set. And then if all else fails, isolate. Not from yourself, that sounds kinda dangerous, but from the environment that’s causing your failure. Clearly that setting is not working.
And yes, that last bit was a little airy-fairy, and you know how much I hate airy-fairy, but there’s only so deep one can go on email - I can go way deeper 1 on 1, so just shoot me a reply and we can hash out exactly how to deal with someone standing in the way of your progress.
